Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sibling Assignment #91: Going Far, Staying Near

My absence from blogging has rendered me way behind in sibling assignments. I'm going to get caught up, starting with an assignment I gave. It's very simple: Spring Break.

You can read Silver Valley Girl's post, here and read InlandEmpireGirl's, here.

By far, for me, the most difficult aspect of my job as a community college instructor working in the quarter system is having three new start ups each school year. It's mentally and emotionally demanding to work intensely with as many 80 students over three courses for ten weeks and have that work suddenly end and have to gear up to prepare new classes for new students the following term.

It's particularly difficult to make this transition between the winter and spring terms. Nevertheless, for several years, I drove to Kellogg to see my sisters and Mom over this spring break, but I just don't have the energy or the will to do it any more.

The last time I traveled to Kellogg for spring break was 2007. That year, inspired by our sibling writing assignments, I recommended to my sisters that we have a Sibling Outing. What a radical idea: I recommended that the three of us, for the first time ever spend a day together, without spouses, kids, and (this was the tough one) without Mom.

Let me digress here for a moment. Without thinking of the impact, I left the Inland Empire in 1979 and, as it turned out, settled in Eugene. I know that thirty years ago I thought that this was what I needed to do as a young man: separate from family, get out of the Silver Valley, and expand my horizons.

It never crossed my mind that I might put my intelligence to use in the Silver Valley. It never crossed my mind that maybe I belonged in the Silver Valley, where my worldview originated, my best friends lived (or near by). It never crossed my mind to live near my parents and sisters.

No, these things never crossed my mind. I subscribed fully to what I heard adults in my life say: "Right, Bill's bright. He'll go far." In other words, he'll go far from the Silver Valley.

Going far meant separation from my family and as I have moved into my fifties, I've become more and more acutely aware of the number of people I know who have sketchy relationships with their siblings. I know people who don't speak to siblings. I know others who rarely see their brothers and sisters. I'm aware of jealousies, old grudges, money battles. I'm aware of others who have been benignly neglectful of their siblings. They don't dislike them. They've just drifted and never thought to do much about it.

When Silver Valley Girl suggested that we siblings give each other writing assignments, it put the three of us in the closest and most frequent contact we'd ever been in. It invigorated our love and care for each other.

And, so, I suggested a Sibling Outing and over Spring Break, 2007, we piled into InlandEmpireGirl's vehicle and headed west with coffee drinks, cameras, smart ass remarks, and plenty of belly laughs. We had a great day at Doma, Jack and Dan's, and Huckleberries. We checked out Grandma's old house. We did some shopping for Mom. We found out what I think we knew: we were good company for each other and could have a great time, just the three of us.


Since this outing we've had other fun ones.

The happiest aspect of my life is being in close touch with my sisters, despite having gone far. I'm happy that we enjoy each other. I'm happy that we are loyal to each other, look out for each other, and care so much about each other.

My feelings of happiness blossomed in 2007, over Spring Break, heading west with Sissy and Pooh.

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