1. When I visited Mom at 10 this morning, she was asleep and in her pajamas. I grabbed her laundry bag and headed back over to her house and washed her clothes and got some chores done in the basement until the wash cycle ended. After I put the clothes in the drier, I headed back to see Mom. She'd had two visitors while I was gone, but I don't know if she remembered them,a and Susan and Joe Kerns came in just as I arrived. While the Kerns visited with Mom, I checked back on the laundry, but it wasn't dry, so I went back to be with Mom and to visit with her and Susan and Joe.
2. At 12:30, a nurse from Hospice North Idaho came to Mom's room. So did Christy. The nurse explained all that is included in the hospice services and Mom signed off on all of it, with Christy's and my approval.
Having Hospice North Idaho involved means Mom will have added caretakers and ones who are more focused on palliative care.
I've been struggling within myself about the fact that I am leaving Kellogg for Eugene on Saturday, July 15th so I can spend time with the Deke, whom I've been apart from for a month now. The band she's a member of, Babes with Axes, is performing at the WOW Hall on Saturday the 22nd and she will be in Eugene so the band can practice and prepare for their show.
My sisters have been most supportive and encouraging about me leaving. I deeply appreciate that. All the same, it's difficult to leave them and my mother. I know that Christy and Carol and Carol's family will spend generous amounts of time with Mom, but, still, it makes a big difference to have all of us helping Mom out together.
Well, this is all to say that I am torn. I want to help out with Mom's care. I want to be with the Deke. Except for the days the Deke will be in Kellogg when our Eugene visit ends, I can't be with both at the same time. I'm very happy that I'll get to spend time with the Deke, see friends in Eugene, and go to the Babes with Axes show, but in some ways I don't really want to leave.
I'm torn.
3. I went back to see Mom around 5:00, in part to return her laundry, and she was in an upbeat, feisty mood, with a greater sense of humor than I've experienced from her since I arrived a month ago. She told Paul, Zoe, and me that she was ready to go to a concert. I told her there wasn't a concert. A little later, she said yes to my idea of going out to the back garden. We enjoyed the flowers and the fresh air and the light breeze.
When we came back into the Kindred facility, lo and behold, there was a concert getting underway. A trio was playing western songs, old pop music, and some folk tunes and I wheeled Mom into the dining area and we listened to the trio play for nearly an hour. Mom enjoyed it a lot.
I returned Mom to her room and told her once again I was leaving in the morning for Eugene and started to say good-bye. She was miffed. She got her back up and wondered why I hadn't told her I was leaving. I explained my plans once again, told her that my leaving must have slipped her mind, but she was stiff and not very receptive when I hugged her good-bye, kissed her forehead, and told her I loved her.
She was happy, though, that I'd be returning with the Deke -- or, as she put it, "That's the big news."
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