Note: I could see the outlines of mountains to the south of Kellogg today. Our air's smoke load lightened a bit.
1. Over the last couple of years, in particular, I've been much more disciplined in how I tend to my dental health. I'll leave it at that -- who needs to (or wants to) read the gory details (maybe Jeri! 😊). So, when I went to have my once every four months cleaning today, I was hopeful that hygienist extraordinaire Kathy would be pleased with my efforts.
She was.
So, not only did I leave the dentist's office with smoother feeling teeth, my night time mouth guard sanitized, and a bag of dental cleaning supplies, I also left with the slightly euphoric feeling of Kathy having praised me.
2. Next up this morning: I met my appointment with Dr. Bieber, Nephrologist.
I was feeling some stress about this visit.
I had seen my lab work results and my glomerular filtration rate (gfr) had dropped from 15 to 13 and my blood's creatinine content was higher than usual. Other parts of my results looked good, though.
Most of all, I was anxious about talking with Dr. Bieber about my decision last month to turn down a kidney and not have a transplant.
My anxiety was misplaced.
Here. Listen in:
Dr. Bieber: Good morning! How have you been feeling?
Me: Really good. Just like I have for years, I'm happy to say.
Dr. Bieber: And you are still on the active list for a transplant?
Me: Well, no. I was offered a kidney last month and I turned it down.
Dr. Bieber: That was very wise. (My emphasis.)
Me (on the verge of happy tears): My transplant nurse coordinator called me the next day, wondering about my decision to decline and told me that if I were going to be turning down offers, I should be put on inactive status on the transplant list. I agreed and that's where things stand right now.
Dr. Bieber had my lab report in hand and he went over it in more detail than any other doctor ever has. He showed me that, yes, in the area of filtration, my numbers were not very good (gfr and creatinine). But, he told me, in other ways my kidneys continue to work splendidly. He explained that it's why I continue to feel good, why I'm not anemic, why I'm not retaining water in my lower legs and ankles, why, in short, I'm not experiencing symptoms. He added that these numbers have been strong all along and that these numbers suggest present and, most likely (no guarantees), continued stability for some indeterminate amount of time.
In short, he would rather, for now, see me continue to live with my kidneys in the shape they are in now, and have been for several years, than go through a transplant.
He was realistic. We never know when the other functions might go into decline. But, given my history and given the strength of my numbers overall, he doesn't anticipate a steep decline in the near future.
I also expressed my concerns about having a transplant, which requires significantly lowering my immune system, during this pandemic. He agreed. It's a concern and only recently have transplant programs resumed performing surgeries. His hope is that I can continue to be stable and feel good at least until a vaccine for Covid-19 is available and get the shot before transplantation.
So, what's next?
When I talked with her a month ago, I told Transplant Nurse Coordinator Sheri that even though I was inactive, I'd like to go through the once a year series of tests and interviews that happens every November. She said I could delay it until the early months of 2021, but I don't want to. I really enjoy talking with the members of the transplant team and I look forward to meeting with all of them once again and I'm fine with having a million blood tests, X-rays, heart tests, and other things done during the day.
I see Dr. Bieber again in January.
3. I returned home and warmed up some left over steak soup with rice for lunch and then took the packages of dog feed to go to Lucky Paws, along with a package for Debbie in New York, to the post office.
Back home again, the combination of anxiety and relief I experienced this morning washed over me so mightily that I collapsed and fell into a deep and restorative sleep for about an hour.
Revived, I photographed squash for Debbie, finished the blog writing that I usually complete in the morning, had an awesome telephone conversation for about 45 minutes with lifelong friend, Paul Richter, had some leftover curry and rice for dinner, and retired to the Vizio room to watch two documentary films on jazz.
I started by watching the Theolonious Monk documentary, Straight, No Chaser. The movie is built upon generous chunks of time watching and listening to Monk play in nightclubs, recording studios, jazz festivals, and at home. It also features candid scenes of Monk backstage, in airports and on airplanes, on the streets of cities, all contributing to a sense of his complex personality on stage, in rehearsal, and in his domestic life. Unlike many documentaries, this one is not particularly interview heavy, but is much more devoted to experiencing Monk at work as player and band leader.
I then turned to the Ken Burns documentary series, Jazz, which I've never watched. Having just watched the Monk movie, I wanted to experience how Burns' series dealt with the origins and the growth of bebop, so I put on episode 8, "Risk", and watched the first hour. I learned much more about bebop's exploration of unusual, often broken, rhythms and discordant melodies and its emphasis not only on speed and virtuosity, but on personal expression, especially of emotions, whether feelings of anxiety or disillusionment, or the joy musicians like Charlie Parker seemed to find in the freedom, daring, and expansiveness of this emerging style of jazz.
Here's a limerick by Stu:
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