1. I vaulted out of bed at 4:30 a.m. and skipped merrily to the icebox and took out my last pint of laxative solution, drank it, took a couple of Gas-X pills, and then drank a quart of water.
Thus concluded my colonoscopy preparation, aside from drinking no fluids after 9:30.
2. Carol barreled over to pick me up at about 11:45 and blasted me up to the Shoshone Medical Center where I checked in and then sat quietly and patiently in the waiting area for, well, quite a while. I daydreamed, thought about the many fun and energizing aspects of my life. A nurse apologized to me about the delay. Another assured me it wouldn't be too long. I was probably in the middle of remembering a great hike Byrdman and I took to Stevens Lake a few years ago when it was time for me to go into an exam room, disrobe, put on a gown, answer questions, and submit to having my vitals checked and an I.V. port stuck into my arm.
Lying on the gurney, I had plenty of time to remember how fun Little League baseball was, how much I enjoyed hearing the Pink Floyd tribute band Pigs on the Wing, and the last time I performed in Shakespeare play. I was just about to replay the last Babes with Axes reunion show in my head when the anesthetist walked in and explained how his wonder drug works.
A nurse wheeled me into the procedure room. The anesthesia put me into a blissful state of sedation. And before I knew it, I was back in the exam room, awake.
The colonoscopy revealed no bad news. Because, like when I had my 2018 procedure, there were some polyps, I will continue on the five year plan.
Carol rocketed back up to the medical center, I crawled into her car, and she rushed me home.
3. I've lost track of time, but it must have been around three o'clock when I staggered into the house. I wobbled to the icebox, took out half a white onion, our last couple of pieces of bacon, and a couple of eggs. I had already taken out pancake mix in the morning and I grabbed about half a dozen baby Yukon Golds.
I hadn't eaten solid food since 6 p.m. on Sunday -- it had been over forty-five hours.
I fried the bacon and chopped the onion, and potatoes. I made about five small flapjacks and put butter and real maple syrup on them. I relished this meal, relished breaking my fast, relished being done with today's colonoscopy and the preparation leading up to it.
Then I napped, got up, napped again, and this evening Debbie and I put on All the President's Men and, at certain points in the movie, recited lines along with the actors, and relaxed until time to go to bed.
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