Before I begin writing my daily list of beautiful things, two things.
First, Saturday was a day of waiting and uncertainty. I was buoyed and uplifted, beyond measure, by the over a hundred expressions of support, both by emoji and written comments, friends and family posted in response to my Facebook post that I might have transplant surgery today.
I am grateful, again, beyond measure, for this love and support, for the prayers and positive thoughts.
Secondly, I am indescribably fortunate.
I have been dealing with and monitoring chronic kidney disease since January of 2005. In these nineteen years, I've never experienced any symptoms of this disease. Day to day, I feel terrific. My kidneys are making maximum use of the function they have left and are doing astonishing work.
I recognize and accept that this is a most opportune time for a transplant. An additional kidney would improve the filtration of my blood and, because my two kidneys are filtering my blood really competently, it will make it much easier for me to recover from surgery, especially if it takes a few days for the new kidney to wake up and begin working.
In the last five days, I've been involved with two organ offers.
Neither worked out. (I wrote about the first offer in an earlier blog post.)
The good news is that as I wait for the next offer, I'm feeling great. I'll continue to go to the Fitness Center, eat mostly good healthy food, and stay calm.
I'm indescribably fortunate to be doing so well while simultaneously chronically ill.
1. From my perspective, this day, April 5th, really began at 10:30 a.m. on April 4th.
Remarkably, for the second time this week, a transplant coordinator called me with a kidney offer, with the possibility of transplant surgery taking place. I was a backup candidate. One potential recipient was ahead of me.
It was so early in the process on Friday, April 5th, that the coordinator told me to go on with my day and await further instruction.
The day passed.
No updates.
No further instructions.
I went to bed.
I wasn't sure what to think -- I kind of figured the other person was receiving the organ.
But, at 4:57 a.m., I heard a chiming notification on my cell phone.
The text was from another transplant coordinator telling me that the Spokane Sacred Heart surgeon, Dr. Ojogho, wanted me to start fasting, no food or liquid, starting at 6 a.m.
2. Now I knew a transplant was a distinct possibility, but, as I have come to learn, definitely not a sure thing.
I soft boiled two eggs and plopped them on two pieces of toast. I ate two more pieces of toast covered with butter and honey. I drank two cups of coffee. I drank at least two cans of plain seltzer water.
Six o'clock rolled around and I began my fast, fortified.
I waited for further instructions from the transplant coordinator (who was in New Jersey!).
I worked the difficult and time-consuming Saturday NYTimes crossword puzzle.
I watched Purdue wear down North Carolina State and UConn proved to the stronger team in its win over Alabama.
I got started on the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle.
I stayed calm, even as the hours of fasting and waiting piled up.
3. Shortly after 3 p.m., just to make sure nothing had changed, I texted the transplant coordinator and asked him if I should continue fasting.
He replied, simply, "Yes."
Later, around 7 p.m., I texted him again, wondering if he had any updates.
He told me that he was still waiting for the kidney to be accepted for me by the Sacred Heart transplant team.
He thought we should get some news shortly.
I asked if this was the same organ I'd been offered the day before, on Friday, at 10:30 a.m.
It was.
There was so much I didn't (and really couldn't) know:
When did the donor die? (I thought, but I'm not sure, the donor was deceased when I got the 10:30 call on Friday.)
When did the donor go into the operating room so whatever organs s/he donated could be removed?
How long did that process take?
What about the person ahead of me? When did the offer to that person fall apart?
Where was the donor located? How far did the organ have to travel to reach Spokane?
And when did the team in Spokane begin its work determining whether to accept the kidney for me?
The unknowns helped me stay calm. So much was out of my control.
The reality is that this can be a process that takes many hours, the process of getting to the point where I am told to report to the hospital.
At 8:36 p.m. on Saturday, April 6th, my phone rang.
It was the transplant coordinator.
His message was brief and straightforward.
The transplant team did not accept the kidney for me.
I understood.
I contacted a few people with the news, posted the news on Facebook, and then I warmed up some tomato soup, thawed and toasted myself a Beach Bum Bakery sesame bagel, and drank cans of Polar seltzer water. I was especially happy to drink the water.
Then I went to bed, not knowing when the next offer might come nor how it will turn out.
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