Three Beautiful Things 08/14/17: Mom's Day of Distress, Good Visits, Evening at Carol and Paul's

1. I was with Mom today for about eight hours, beginning when I walked over to Kindred with Jeri Robinson and Don Windisch. Mom was in distress of some sort all day long. I don't know if it was physical or mental or spiritual distress or a combination of all three or something beyond my understanding.  Mom seemed to be trying to sleep, but I could never tell if she succeeded or if she was in state of being I don't have words for. Sometimes she made indecipherable responses when people talked to her. Both Jeri and Don spoke to Mom. So did Renae Costa. The Deke did. Carol did. I did, too. The nurses and aides talked to her when they gave her medicine and did other things. She seemed to hear all of us, but her responses were unintelligible.

Mostly, Mom moaned and groaned. Today, the medicines seemed to have little effect. It looks to me like she's losing her ability to swallow. I never saw her eat or drink anything. The nurses had to give Mom repeated encouragement to swallow the applesauce spiked with her pills.

I sat next to her bed for several hours and held Mom's hand or rested my hand on her arm. Sometimes she squeezed it tightly.  Other times she pulled her hand away.  Mom was almost never relaxed. I'm hoping that with the help of the nurses from Hospice we can help Mom find comfort in the coming days.

Today, I mostly wanted Mom to know she wasn't alone. Being close to her, sometimes talking to her, and holding her hand didn't seem to relieve her distress, but, at least for much of the day, she wasn't alone in her determination to stay alive.

2. I was grateful that Jeri and Don and, later, Renae, and then the Deke came to visit Mom. Before we went to Kindred, Jeri, Don, the Deke, and I had a good visit at Mom's house. Carol and I enjoyed talking with Renae in Mom's room. It was a comfort to me, in the afternoon, when the Deke arrived.

3. The Deke and I went over to Carol and Paul's around 7:15 and ate sliced Italian meats and Romano cheese left over from last week's Italian feast. We enjoyed gin and tonic together and had some good conversation about Mom's day and many other things. The evening got chilly. The air was clear of forest fire smoke. It wasn't long before the Deke and I returned to Mom's house. We were both weary and in need of going to bed kind of early.