Three Beautiful Things 08/16/17: Evening Visit, Two Weeks Seems Like Two Months, Frozen Treats

1. I am writing this at 9:00 p.m. on Wednesday evening. I've just returned from seeing Mom. Nurse Dawn told me that Mom has probably lost all her senses now except her hearing. Fluids are gathering inside of Mom. Her hands and wrists and forearms are swollen. Her breathing is both rattly and gurgly. Nurse Dawn doubt she feels very much except deep pain and so Mom is being given doses of morphine and Ativan to help her rest and sleep calmly and with as much relief from pain as possible.

2. Late July and the first half of August have felt very long. So it seems like a long time ago that Mom and had the standoff I wrote about. But that was just July 26th. It seems a very long time ago that Judy and Angie were in Kellogg and Mom was so animated and with it, telling stories and enjoying her nieces, but they arrived on July 31st and left the next day. I spent a lot of time with Mom today and so did Carol and Christy. All three of us were in Mom's room when Andrea, the hospice nurse visited and gave Mom another lasix IV and worked to get some things straightened out about nurses being sure to medicate Mom regularly. Christy, Carol, and I did all we could to comfort Mom by holding her hand and stroking her forehead and Carol swabbed her mouth to moisten it. I thought more about the trajectory of Mom's decline. Just a week ago she impatiently reprimanded me for asking her FOUR times if she wanted to eat pears. That was about the last time I really saw her eat. It was just two weeks ago that she sent me home to get her a dill pickle, thinly sliced. Now, such a short time later, her animation is essentially gone. Her last stand of resistance is not letting anyone remove her dentures. She is slipping away.  The last two weeks feel like they've lasted two months.

3. The Deke fixed our whole family a delicious dinner tonight and we ate on Mom's deck. In honor of Mom, we ate ice cream sandwiches for dessert in memory of how Mom used to always stock her freezer with frozen treats. It was the Deke's idea and a very nice touch.