Thursday, August 24, 2017

Three Beautiful Things 08/23/17: Donating Mom's Clothes, Mom and Grandma West, Many Thanks to Chris Meyer

1. Carol and Christy very carefully went through all of Mom's clothes that I had packed on Tuesday. Many of the Mom's clothes brought back memories of weddings, trips to the Oregon coast, other events, and phases of clothing styles Mom went through. Christy and Carol are much more attuned to the history of Mom's clothes than I am, and while I left at one point to take a load of donations to the Fuller Center for Housing's thrift store in Smelterville, I enjoyed listening to all that they knew about Mom's clothes and all that they remembered.  When they finished, Paul helped me out immeasurably by loading the tubs of Mom's clothes into the Malibu and I drove them to the Hospice Thrift Store of Coeur d'Alene where we hope Mom's clothes will have an extended life, knowing that any that are purchased will help Hospice of North Idaho continue to provide palliative care to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay.

2. It was one week ago today, on August 16th, that Mom died. As I drove to Smelterville and then to Coeur d'Alene and back, I kept picturing Mom in her last days and how she looked when she had passed away. Nothing adorned Mom. She was dressed only in a hospital gown because it caused her too much pain if the aides tried to put anything else on her, even her pajamas. She didn't have on her wig, her glasses, or any make-up.  Mom's eyes narrowed and, to me, became more blue. As her cheeks became more hollow and as she slowly diminished in size, her appearance started to transform. She looked more and more like her mother, Nona West.  It was as if the closer she came to dying, the more she resembled the woman who originally gave her life. It was a remarkable experience to be with Mom in her last days and hours. It verged on the miraculous when I felt I was simultaneously in the presence of Mom as she died and the return of Grandma West.

3. Today was a tiring day. Christy, Carol, and I talked over the steps we've learned we need to take to settle Mom's estate. We continued to work on sorting and packing Mom's belongings and made plans for how to deal with things we still have to do. I made an appointment with our attorney. Paul and Carol transported more things to their house. Christy packed up and walked things over to her house.  I delivered donations.

It was a great relief that Chris Meyer brought us a complete dinner to Carol and Paul's house. It was a generous spread: smoked Cornish hens, green beans, tiny red potatoes, a splendid green salad, and dinner rolls (did I forget to mention anything?).  Chris made us huckleberry cocktails and a strawberry rhubarb pie was available for dessert. The dinner was delicious, nourishing, and nurturing. It was a relief to relax over such good food seasoned with Chris' kindness and thoughtfulness.






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