Friday, July 5, 2019

Sibling Assignment #206: I Just Don't Know

Carol gave this assignment:

What is something you have never done but hope to do or hope to have accomplished in the next five years?
Christy's looks forward to writing a book here. So does Carol! Here.

I'll start by looking back five years.

On July 4, 2014, I was in Kellogg, visiting Mom before heading east. That would be six days later, on July 10th, making the move to Virginia and, later, Maryland.

So, on July 4th, 2014, I had some vague ideas about a couple of things I wanted to do back east. I wanted to volunteer to be a guide (a docent) at the Folger Library; I also wanted to go to the American Shakespeare Center in Staunton, VA.

I didn't do either.

As it turned out, my life from July 4th, 2014 forward was fairly chopped up. I returned several times to Kellogg to help out with Mom and in 2017, not only did Mom die, but, in a move I couldn't have predicted in 2014, Debbie and I bought Mom's house and moved to Kellogg.

I have to say that I can't think of any thing that happened between between July 4, 2014 and today, July 4, 2019, that I would have hoped for. I wouldn't have thought to hope to officiate the weddings of two different pairs of friends; I wouldn't have thought of attending the Indiana Fiddle Gathering; I wouldn't have dreamed of hosting Ed and then Ed and Mike and traveling with Ed to Atlantic City and with both of them to Philadelphia and New York City, as well as seeing a lot of Washington, DC and areas in Maryland; I didn't hope, before leaving Oregon, that I'd come to love going to a Monday morning water aerobics class at the Aquatic Center in Greenbelt or come to love shopping at the Co-op and Mom's Organic and at Wegman's. I never thought to dream about seeing The Glass Menagerie and Sunday in the Park with George on Broadway; I wouldn't have known that I'd come to love the beer brewed back east nor that I'd love going to DC Brau, Quench, Old Line Bistro, and Flying Dog Brewery, among other places to enjoy this beer. It never crossed my mind that I would eulogize our mother.

I don't see into the future very well and I've never been a goal-oriented person. Back in 2014, I didn't have any thoughts about accomplishing anything.  I took a lot of pictures that I enjoy having around and I fell in love with life back east; if I accomplished anything, I improved the quality of my life by exploring the D. C. area and New York City as much as I did and enjoyed how invigorated I often felt.

Looking forward, I see a lot of uncertainty in the next five years and that uncertainty makes thinking about what I'd like to do or accomplish very difficult. Honestly, if I hope to accomplish anything, it would be to make the best of whatever circumstances I am in.

I'm thinking about the possibility that in the next five years I might start kidney dialysis and I might experience a kidney transplant. I'm uncertain how either of these possibilities might affect hopes I might have and both are impediments to thinking about goals and accomplishments. I tend to size things up month by month, sometimes week by week. Depending on circumstances, I'd love to return to Nelson, B. C. for several days; I'd love to drive across the USA and back and spend time with Adrienne and her family and with Molly and hers. I'd love to return to New York City and do some more wandering around in Brooklyn again.

But, over the last five years, wonderful things transpired that I never dreamed would happen and I like to think that some good things I haven't and am unable to dream about at present might happen in the next five years as well. But, for now, I can't think of anything that I have my mind set on to try to make happen, no matter what.

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