Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sibling Assignment #142: All Those Girls

The next in Silver Valley Girl's January assignments pays tribute to InlandEmpireGirl's January birthday:

Write a memory about one of IEG's past birthdays.

 I'm the first to post this assignment.

When I was in kindergarten, for the first time I felt the nervousness, shyness, excitement, vertigo, and giddiness of liking a girl.  Her name was Janet Cross.  I had no idea what these feelings were.  I acted on them in goofy ways, showing off, laughing, being boisterous, always trying to get Janet's attention.

I went out of my neighborhood in the first and second grade and attended Silver King Elementary, the school my mom taught at.  I think it made things easier at home for me to go to school and come back home with her.

There were three girls, Kathy, Susie, and Wendy, who made my first and second grade heart flutter a bit, but nothing like I had felt in kindergarten in the company of Janet Cross.

In the third grade I attended Sunnyside Elementary.   Our family had moved into the Sunnyside district and, for some reason, it worked out for me and InlandEmpireGirl to go there.

Soon after arriving at Sunnyside, where Mrs. Hitzel was my teacher, I realized Janet Cross was also at Sunnyside, but in Mrs. Ingle's class. 

I nearly cried.  I dreamed about Janet Cross.  I stared at her.  I always looked forward to when we had music in the music room because Mrs. Ingle's class filed out as we filed in and I'd always see Janet Cross.

I never spoke to her.  Even in the third grade I was sure that any girl I liked would find my attention an insult.

But Janet made my stomach somersault. 

I liked that feeling. 

I liked Janet Cross.

Then she moved away.  I don't know where she moved to.  I haven't see her in forty-eight years.

I liked that feeling girls gave me.

Therefore, I liked InlandEmpireGirl's birthday parties.

For a number of years, because our birthdays are only thirteen days apart, Mom would throw one birthday party.  Back then, the kids who came were friends of the family mostly and no clear line yet divided my friends from hers.

At some point in time, however, the line got drawn and InlandEmpireGirl started having girl only birthday parties.


All those girls.

I couldn't come right out and say to Mom or my sister that I was really excited for InlandEmpireGirl's birthday parties, but I was.

I don't remember any single party, but by the time I was ten, eleven, maybe even twelve years old, I really liked having girls around. 

I didn't do anything about it beyond show off and I very well might have been a pain in the neck at InlandEmpireGirl's birthday parties, but her friends were really pretty to me, they excited me, I wanted them to notice me, and all those girls made her birthday parties events I really looked forward to.

I'm still too embarrassed by my behavior and my young boy feelings to name names -- but about four of my sister's friends triggered the show off mechanism in me and gave me that dizzy feeling and that's what I remember most about her parties. 

And, just for the record, here I am, showing off when Mom took a party picture, standing up, dramatically eating a big forkful of pork and beans, wanting attention, trying to impress some of the girls (not necessarily pictured) at this party.  They don't seem to notice me, though.....

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